Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Rodela

Cause of Death: Self Inflicted Gunshot Wound

"I feel vulnerable or something."

You guise,

I did this because I’m sad. I’ve been sad for years. I’ve been in pain for years. This is not your fault. Pray for my soul, if that is what will bring you peace and solace.
Lucy, I love you, and you’ll probably forget about me in about 2 weeks, which is kind of funny.
Meghla, continue living your life the way you have been. You mean everything to our parents and you have no idea how proud they are of you. I was a burden in everyone’s life, and I really think you’ll be much better off without me. Don’t believe me? Give it a few years, you’ll see. I love you.
Shahan, I’m the least worried about you, because I’ve always kind of known that you are destined to find someone better. Better, in the sense that they won’t be insane and kill themselves, and I know you’ll find someone that will love you, and take care of you. They will be an overall better wife and human being than I ever could have been. What I’m saying is: you deserve better. I love you.
To my parents, I’m sorry that you have now lost all three kids that were involved in the accident. I always assumed people that knew about the accident saw me as the ‘surviving child that probably has mental issues’. Well, they were right! (Lol, but not actually laughing). You have managed to cope with the loss of two children and I hope you have the strength to cope with this loss too. But PLEASE don’t neglect Meghla the way you neglected me so long ago. She NEEDS counseling. Please don’t make the same mistake twice. I love you both.
I’m sorry for putting all of you in this horrible situation, what with dealing with the funeral arrangements and going to Bangladesh and all that. Please don’t have an ‘open casket’ viewing of my body, mainly because I think that’s disgusting and I don’t want Meghla to see me LITERALLY at my very worst.

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