Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Stephanie Alia

Cause of Death: Didn't die :'(

I was asked to write a suicide note, but the truth is I’m far too selfish and much too vain to ever do such a thing. I also realize I have an innate ability to annoy the hell out of people or to unintentionally offend others. If I killed myself, I could never annoy others again or by dying I would provide my enemies with a brief moment of relief and joy. This is not going to happen. This may disappoint some people (which only incites silent joy from me because I managed to annoy you somehow), but it’s the truth. I’m a royal pain in the ass and genuine pain in the asses stay alive to torment others. Besides, someone has to stay alive to make fun of all your suicide notes…

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