In other words, things I might post if I had a Twitter or something.
It's going to be cool to be REALLY ugly soon. Like--practically deformed.
Living in "relevant" cities might not be "relevant" anymore.
Your sexual preferences and emotional responses probably have more to do with your lust for internet fame than they do with your childhood.
In reality, you might have more in common with Jeffree "Cunt" Star than Bret Easton Ellis.
Aggressive stupidity/banality minus shame and self awareness might mean the same thing as courageous.
This is a feeling: <3, and it's not love.
Technology metaphors don't really make me laugh, or feel feelings.
Whether or not you like Nickelback might not be that important to me.
Being a girl really isn't stopping me from peeing in most places that aren't toilets.
I wake up to lots of texts and emails everyday, AMIIMPORTANT?: Selected Excerpts
"I want to work for aarp mag with you and wear dazzling pantsuits while sexually harassing senior employees"
"She wanted to hook up with me, but I told her I'm like the professional, you know? No women, no kids, except, in her case, just no kids. She invited me over to watch a movie and I said I only watch MMA and porn and I jack off to both. She asked me if I was being serious, and I really didn't know."
"I want to fuck Harry Russo, but I think that's kinda asking to get herpes."
"I hate the valley, BTW, I'm texting you from a weird google voice number because I'm in the mental institution, lol."
also screen grabs of black on white gangbangs.