Sometimes this super amazing thing happens where like, things that would only happen in my imagination, happen in real life. Like, in my fantasy imagination land, I would probably write a story about a lonely aging woman whose child and husband die, and with the money they earned together, she buys a chimpanzee who becomes her only real love and source of solace in the world. Loving him, truly, like a son. One day, she and the chimp get so fucked up on red wine and xanax bars, that the chimp eats her friend's face and hands off and she is forced to stab it to death. After stabbing her chimp son to death, the woman is so despondent that she literally dies of a broken heart. The woman who got her face and hands eaten off by a drunk and barred out chimp wears wide brimmed hats and fancy scarves to cover up her hideous, severely disfigured face like some type of Invisible Monsters shit, and then gets a face transplant and shows it off on The Today Show.
Like...that REALLY is the fucking saddest, funniest, most beautiful story I've ever heard.