Thursday, May 24, 2012

Time To Move

So, I'm going to apply for some jobs in cities where I know people. Jobs that I am probably ridiculously unqualified for where I will exaggerate my accomplishments as a writer and art director and sell myself as a creative genius in a psychopathic manner. If I get one, y'all should be expecting a temporary house guest. Some of y'all have slept on my couch for a fucking year and shit, so I think it's fair. Plus I will clean your house and cook for you and have free sex with you if you want whether you're male or female, gay or straight. Really doesn't matter. J/k (right?)

 

UPDATE: Dude, I just watched "shit burquenos say" and I totally do all of that shit. "He's 'all' tall" LOL. Fucked. I also end words that end in "ing" with "een." Like, you know what I'm talkeen about?" I don't sound like the girl in the video, of course, but in a subtle way, I do all of those things, including calling all sodas "coke."

Also, I noticed, something that's not in that video...I remember when I moved to CA when I was like--18, this guy was telling me that his mom married a 19 year old, and I said something like, "Damn, she can pull out for him, lol." And the person was like, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Pulling out" means buying alcohol for someone here. Apparently people in other places have never heard that term used in that context.

I've actually never heard the term "are you gonna get down" used by anyone in NM, in reference to getting out of the car. I never heard that term until I moved to South Texas. Literally everyone there uses it.

I also heard the REM song "Losing My Religion" and thought it was some metaphorical, sensitive bullshit or something, and then when I lived in Georgia, I realized it's a phrase people use there to describe getting angry, "blowing your cool," or whatever.

Anyway, I'm sure that's sufficiently boring. I feel like every post this week has had a "learning" component or something. I find "intellectualism" oppressive. I'm sorry. At least I present all information in a type of language, with types of inconsistent punctuation and syntax that suggest I might be functionally retarded. I'm fucking reckless, ride or die. Goodnight everyone. I love you. Hope you have a blessed day tomorrow.

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