Thursday, May 17, 2012


Exploit - to use or manipulate to one's advantage;  (sad emoticon)

Network - to cultivate people who can be helpful to one personally or professionally (happy emoticon)

Somehow, in my mind, replacing the first word with the second word seems inextricably linked to the current cultural obsession with vampirism as a sexy and marketable commodity.

In a similar vein (LOLOLOLOL I made a vampyre joke, GET IT?) I went to a party last night where a bunch of couples were drinking wine and eating types of obscure cheeses. They kept to themselves mostly, talking about a wide range of enthralling subjects such as "Destreza." Yeah, girl, google that shit. I don't want to be the kind of person who "shit talks" couples. I want to believe that people genuinely appreciate and love each other, but that's just not how it "feels" to me. I instinctively feel that relationships have a "goal," and that the goal is to fucking annihilate and destroy the other person by making them feel afraid and guilty about who they "are" physically, intellectually and emotionally. To slut shame them into changing their behavior to reflect what you find most appropriate and palatable. One or both parties always has an almost narcotically detached disposition as though their sense of "self" has literally been beaten out of them. If you're better at destroying the other person than they are at destroying you, you're like the fucking "winner" or something.

I just feel terrible, I think. I feel terrible about the way people behave with each other.  I think people feel really scared and sad and fucked. I think people are really afraid that people are "better" than them on some fundamental level. They're afraid of being a failure, they're afraid of being alone, they're afraid of being hurt by things. I feel like rather than that being a means of like "bonding" people, it becomes a means of "exploiting" them

I feel like that's some really "sick shyt," you know? It makes me want to give people compliments and hugs and tell them I like them more.




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