Saturday, June 2, 2012
A Conversation About The "Root" Penis
R: Remember that time Josh peed on us in the shower?
We were like cleaning the apartment, I don't know if he was my bf at the time, but for some reason we all took a shower together and he fucking peed on us.
A: LOLOLOlolollolol. I vaguely remember that lol!!!!!! ahahahahahahahahah!!!! Why did that happen?
R: I have no idea. Seems weird to even "theorize" about it. Like, did he ask if he could pee on us? Did we tell him to? Were we "on drugs?"
I only ask because he sent me a link to a website this morning that was dedicated to short stories about people wetting the bed.
Dude, anyway, so, imagine like--meeting someone you really "love," like, the coolest person ever, and they get you alone in their room for the first time, and you're making out heavily, like "steamy" teen dream style and they're taking off your clothes n it's all "cute" and you take their pants off and see that "root" penis.
I think I would srsly start crying.
A: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I would barf....like barf and run.
R: Fuck that would be so crazy. I mean, what if the person was REALLY cool though?
A: Would you cut it off out of fear?
A: I wouldn't trust anyone ever again.
A: I think I would instinctually cut it off.
R: Cut it off how? LOL, with the "sex knife" I keep by my bed JIC?
A: Like scissor style, lollololol, "get the sex knife 911" LOL. We need to write this story.
R: Dude, when you said you would "never trust anyone again," I literally like--peed. I started laughing so hard that I cried. I may never stop laughing about it. Let's write a story called "The Sex Knife."