Friday, June 22, 2012

Random Ass Shit

  • Everything I write involves puking or cum. I feel that everything ultimately relates to throwing up or fucking or something on the peripheral of actual fucking in some way.

  • It seems subconscious.

  • When I make "jokes" about being severely depressed, taking oxycontin as though it is an over the counter sleep aid, or killing myself, can you please just laugh? Laugh in a markedly uncomfortable manner if you want, just don't say something like, "I worry about you sometimes," because the sad and true fact is, you don't. You worry about how boring your girlfriend's vagina is starting to feel and what's being pushed through "the feed." Just laugh. Seriously. Because if you lie to me and say you are worried, I will buy a gun right now and shoot a bullet into my head, and it will be all your fault and you will have to live with that on your conscience for the rest of your life. Just kidding, you will push something through "the feed" to "RIP" me, as a cheap ploy for "likes" and then forget about it in three days when someone else gets their face eaten off. Whatever. I don't care. Do whatever you want.

  • "Post ironic sincerity."

  • "Why is John Irving a busted up tattooed motherfucker?" I thought.

  • I feel like perpetrating monster hoaxes is the only positive way to use the internet, and probably the only way to contribute to society in general. I once spoke to someone I hate about my passionate feelings on monsters, and then they made a monster "zine." And then I thought, you know, that person really fucks everything up for everyone. I hope a homeless person on bathsalts fucks that person and shits in their mouth. The only monster that person will ever know is their own sad, emaciated, fanny pack wearing carcass marching one step closer to death.

  • Someone told me the other day, "You think about a lot of really intense shit."

  • Someone told me the other day, "You really are an optimistic pessimist."


  1. i think just trying to make you laugh is the best way i can help you

  2. and giving you a fuck grip of money

  3. A "fuck grip" of money would be fucking tite. Also free murder.