Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Fuck It

You know in "Irresponsible Hate Anthem" where Marilyn Manson just screams "FUCK IT" over and over. I kind of feel like that's like exactly what's going on in my head all the time as I'm like, talking to people and doing daily activities. Like, I have a kind of barely sad/ expressionless face, but in my head there's a soundtrack of "FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT."

And yeah, I listen to Marilyn Manson on the reg because I'm a teen goth forever.

I have the kind of anxiety where I want to like, rip chunks of my flesh off. I can't though, you know, because I can't show up to a job interview looking like a bathsalty motherfucker.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

"The One That Got Away"

"'Just to think of it makes me sick,' 'It made me lose my appetite,' 'It turned my stomach,' are well-known sentences that translate the difficulty in digesting what one is thinking about.

This is what nausea is. It represents the sick feeling about something that is going on in a person’s life. Someone or something is making this person sick.

Vomit is an even more categorical expression of revolt and defence. Vomiting simply means refusal to accept. 'I am not digesting this.'"

My eye is is red and watering and I thought, "Maybe I have an infection in my eye," and then I thought of that "joke" people tell where someone is like "What's the republicans' healthcare plan?" and someone is like, "Don't get sick, lol." Then I thought about like, christian scientists and I was like, "That seems right." Like, I just want to die of a really bad cough or something.