Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Let's Pretend That It's Wednesday, And A Bright Sunny Day

Today is the worst day in recent memory. I bow to you, I bow to you, I bow to you. I woke up around 10 AM and started sobbing when I realized I couldn't sleep anymore, and I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, because my head was pounding so badly which was about two hours ago, then I started laughing.

I watched the video where Bud Dwyer blows his brains out like 37 times and thought, "Hey man, nice shot."

Everything is fine though.

Tomorrow is new column day! Just pretend it's the day I said it would be.


I started crying again for like another hour. I don't even remember the last time I really, for real life cried about something. I cried so much my entire face hurts, like behind my head and into my cheeks and jaw. I didn't even know that was possible. I'm going to drink wine and take prescriptions and feel really sad again when I still exist tomorrow. Really looking forward to it. See you then.


  1. I don't know why you're crying. Maybe you need to cry. I don't know.

    Here's a video of ALF singing Michael Jackson's Billy Jean:

    And, yes, that is a cucumber.

  2. Jereme, you're the illest most realest. I'm typing an email to you right now.