Monday, October 8, 2012

Assignments

So, I had to see a psychiatrist for a year, and I had a lot of "assignments." Like, every week I had to do an "assignment" to get "better."  I'm going to copy two of them here. Keep in mind, I wasn't 12. This was like 3 years ago.

Assignment: Write an essay that describes the way you feel about your father.

About Dad

FRANK'S FATHER DIDN'T LEAVE HIS HOUSE FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS OF HIS LIFE. HE SAT ON A COUCH DRINKING FOR FIVE YEARS AND FORGOT TO GO OUTSIDE UNTIL HE DIED.

I TALKED TO FRANK TODAY. HIS FAMILY WENT TO AFRICA FOR A SAFARI AND TOOK ALL HIS CREDIT CARDS.

Assignment: Write a letter to someone who's important to you.

Dear Joe,

You are a sexy, sensitive, 90s badass.  I wrote this poem for you because I want you to know you are important to me:

Hey Joe.

Where you going with that gun in your hand

I want to be your man

But I'm a girl

Please don't hurl

When you read this

I heard you're an alcoholic

Me too

Love,

poop

 

I can't fucking believe that, lol. Like...talk about fucking bad baby,  lol. Joe is this guy that took breaks at work the same time I did, and we like, smoked cigarettes 1o feet away from each other going to excruciating length to avoid eye contact and "small talk."

No comments:

Post a Comment