Friday, September 27, 2013

Am I losing my mind or is "Hurts So Good" actually playing on a loop everywhere I go?

Saturday, September 7, 2013

If you know, like, a 45 year old dude that listens to Swans, I'll marry that motherfucker right now. Dead serious.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Pretty much every statement I ever make is an attempt at drawing attention to the fact that I'm a low life asshole. If I out anybody else as a low life asshole in the process, I really apologize for that.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

"People liked me. Maybe it's because they sensed I was virtually dead and couldn't hurt them."

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Rhetorical Questions

How much time do you think we've spent talking about Bruce Jenner, realistically?

Does he have, like, the facial equivalent of the root dick?

Is this it?

Should I continue living? But Seriously.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

"When you deny your true self's very existence, it doesn't matter how depraved you let it become."

"Since your false image is just a phantom, there's no limit to how grandiose you can make it."

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Conversations That Happened Before 10 AM 2/16

Person says, "I can't keep an erection without some type of physical or emotional violence."

I say, "Seems normal."


Person says, "Stop scratching your arm."

I say, "I'm not."

Person says, "I saw you, I'm just saying, that's not 'healthy.'"

I say, "Can you please stop like...'eyeing' me or whatever, it's really annoying. I'm just trying to drink juice."

Person sits in forever seeming silence, makes exasperated sigh, "Honestly rachel, I don't even want to be alive."

I laugh, "I don't know what that has to do with...anything, but okay."

Person says, "No, I'm serious, I really don't want to be alive anymore."

I put on sunglasses and bite into the fleshy part of my hand to prevent myself from laughing.