Tuesday, January 29, 2013

And Also

I am vaguely enjoying having the flu.


This is a story SOMEONE told me earlier involving the flu that I enjoyed:

So, right when swine flu was hitting B----'s insane druggy, drag queen friend KIKI was living in Hawaii. KIKI is a drama queen and would go on binges for weeks and then lie in bed dramaticallyyy...So one time, he was couch surfing and wouldn't get up at all, all day for like...a long time, and everyone was like, "WTF, WTF is up KIKI?" And he, dramatically, in a Phillip voice (I know Phillip voice means nothing to you, but just imagine it as the voice of a crazy, wasted, dramatic person) would say, "I have the swine flu" and everyone was like "STFU KIKI, no you don't. Get up." So, eventually, he goes to the doctor, and the doctor is like, "Um, you have the swine flu. You actually DO have the swine flu. You are the first person to have it in Hawaii, and we have to quarantine you." So, basically, this huge media hub bub happened, and he was on every news channel being interviewed as the face of swine flu in Hawaii. So insane. I mean, imagine this drugged out, insane looking drag queen on the news giving interviews as the face of swine flu in Phillip voice. Also, mainly, how the fuck did he get the swine flu? Like, what crazy binge results in you contracting the swine flu on an island in the middle of nowhere?

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