I think my severe depression is related to my drinking, and by that, I mean, when I'm not drinking I feel severe depression. Now that I've "gotten back to basics," I feel that I'm thinking more clearly.
I was getting all sad thinking like, "I have no future" and like, "I'm a fucking failure" and like, "No one will ever love me" and, you know...shit like that. I was thinking like, "My life has no purpose" and stuff.
Then, I thought, suddenly, "Who cares?" Then, I thought, suddenly, "It's okay, I have a 'plan.'"
You want to know what the plan is?
It's so good.
It's the best plan you've ever heard.
"I'm going to fuck everyone I've ever fantasized about since grade school," I thought.
So, naturally, the first thing I did was put my glasses on and put my hair in pig tails. THEN I headed for the library to "return some books." Of course, the guy that I'm obsessed with wasn't there, and it's probably for the best because he might be married, and it's not like I had ANY kind of an idea of what I was going to do when I saw him, and how that would lead to us having sex, but....the important thing is, I have a fucking plan.
Tomorrow, I'm getting drunk with the guy who got me expelled from school in sixth grade.