Friday, March 15, 2013

Week in Review

"Hurting you reminds me of petting a small cat. They always seem like they want you to stop, and then when you do, they're back at you, rubbing their face against your hand."

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"Instead of taking 30 sleeping pills, why don't I just take like two and see if I get tired," I thought.

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"I used to think emoticons were stupid, but now I understand that they are the only logical way to express yourself."

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What 'Dating' Me is Like (NOT HOW YOU THINK).

We are "making out" on your couch, and you are wearing a suit for some reason, because we are both wasted, even more than usual. I start laughing because, in my head, I can't stop imagining this:



 

So, you're like, "Why are you laughing?" and I'm like, I don't really want to talk about it. So you keep kissing me, but I'm like, laughing into your mouth, and I'm like "Okay, okay. I'm laughing because....it's stupid that you're wearing a suit, and I keep picturing you with a horse head. Like, I just keep envisioning a suit with a fucking horse head attached to it." You look at me like I'm stupid, and then you start like pulling my hair and mashing my face, but I keep laughing. "Look," I say, "Being more 'brutal' won't help because like...that's what a horse head in a suit would do." You like, climb off of me and sit down and shake your head. "I can't have sex right now," I say, "But do you want to teach me how to do calculus?"

"Seriously?" You ask.

"Yeah, seriously. I mean, I'm pretty good at math, but the less actual numbers there are, the more I get confused. If you teach me how to do calculus, I might see you as like a professor or something instead of a horse head."

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THE END OF THE WORLD





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