Monday, April 29, 2013


Happy late birthday to "Larry." ILY bb. So sorry I'm a few hours late. Im such a fucking failure. I really missed seeing you over Christmas : ( I liked your Thy Schmoes vid. I really liked that song. Cortney is such a babe.

Hope you had a "good" one.

Friday, April 26, 2013


Going to a "photo shoot" at 11. I've been sitting in a chair for like 50-60 minutes, staring at nothing, occasionally getting the urge to dry heave.

Just googled "present life regression."

Thursday, April 25, 2013




Thank god (or whatever) you're alive. You are so beautiful (to me).


I wish we were getting wasted with John Giancaspro.


AND/OR committing a hate crime.


Felt an overwhelming sense of dread as I watched a morbidly obese woman push the silver handicapped circle that opens the door for you.

"You are not disabled," I thought, "Please just use one of the limbs attached to your massive carcass to open the door, PLEASE."

"I can't do this," I thought, regarding leaving the house again, ever.



"I can't do this," I thought, panicking, as I read "selected excerpts" from a book.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


I can't talk to anyone bc the only thoughts that go through my head lately are like, "Yes, Jeffrey Campbells with a lucite heel are a great styling investment" and "You know, Bad Religion was a pretty good band, yeah, seriously, I like Bad Religion" and like, "Embellished baseball caps, yes or no?" and like, "Kush is a solid font choice."

Feels sort of Patrick Bateman esque.

Sometimes like, my mind wanders to other things like "life" things, not really "deep" things though, just like, "All my relationships are doomed" and like, "I don't really fantasize about other people during sex, but I sometimes fantasize about other people during banal conversations, and by sometimes, I mean always."

Just in case you were wondering, the form of communication I feel most comfortable with is the text message.

Monday, April 22, 2013


"Perhaps I'm subconsciously alienating myself," I thought.

"What if babies came out of your asshole instead," I thought.

"Trill," I thought.

I'm just taking some ME(ntal illness) time.


Thursday, April 18, 2013


"I feel more emotions watching Battlestar Galactica than I do in real life. #deadinside."

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


I just want to say that I'm not "depressed." Like, I feel "fine." I'm just "busy" or something.

When I feel not depressed, I feel more like everything is the same +/-10. You know what I mean? Like I really have nothing to say. Like today is the same as yesterday +/-10 or whatever.



Monday, April 15, 2013

Can I Get a (Fuck You)

I wish I had been born a narcissistic shit that protects my own feelings above all else. Above listening, and being considerate, especially. I wish I let my dumb rage guide my decision making process, yapping loudly in an attempt to "shut down" any criticisms of myself so I could live the rest of my life with my head shoved into the dark, comforting tunnel of my asshole.






Thursday, April 11, 2013


"I will never be part of 'the dating scene,'" I thought.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Rough Week

I think if you're going to go off on someone, like, write something on the internet or mumble something under your breath, or take passive aggressive shitty ass jabs, you should really sit the fuck down and ask yourself something. Like, think back to your birth, and everything you can ever remember doing, and ask yourself, "Am I an asshole?"

*SPOILER ALERT* The answer is yes.

Like, think about all the times you made mistakes, didn't follow directions, said cunty bullshit things, and overall just acted like a stupid, shitkicking fuck. Like, SERIOUSLY, before you berate another person, ask yourself if you shouldn't, instead, just STFU.

If it still feels justified to you: 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Sometimes I'm supposed to be doing something. Reading/making a look book/editing photos/writing code, and I stop for a minute to google some thought that comes into my head and it turns out every thought in my head is a thread on bodybuilding forums, and like before I know it, I've been looking at bodybuilding forums for like an 1+ hour(s).

Can someone just shit to me about getting my life together like an abusive alcoholic stepdad/coach or slap me or something? I don't mean slap me like an old timey black and white film but like REALLY slap the shit out of me.


Monday, April 1, 2013


Hey "gang." Just wanna say like "ILY" and sorry. I've been so busy I don't have time to like think or talk or do anything. I'll talk to "y'all" soon.