Monday, June 16, 2014

R: Just keep thinking, like, "My ball career is over."

A: LOL

R: Like, you know, I'll never be a baller (shot caller).

A:  LOL, maybe don't go to Portland. Maybe you should stop by rehab before Austin and get your ball career back on track, lol.

R: Eh....(if you got the money for a rehab cure, you ain't got a problem you can't afford...) I don't want to drop out for 28 days, I want to drop out forever, lol. I mean, really, I just want to have a party with a punch bowl.

A: LOL

R: At least "Secret Sex Life of A Single Mom" is playing.

A: I'm so jealous.

R: It's kind of depressing. I find "S&M" really distasteful. It seems to be about, like, hella LARPy ren faire dudes with long pontytails that dress like the columbine shooters exploiting women's daddy issues. It's so basic.

A: OMG lololol

R: I started laughing really hard earlier bc like, I was talking about this monster...

called like...batsquatch or something...

Well, first of all, shows about monsters make me sad in much the same way as "bdsm" lol. It's like, I have a preoccupation with monsters just like I have a preoccupation with being viciously beaten, insulted and deserted, BUT...I don't relate to monster hunters or the sorts of monsters that other people...like....let me just put it this way, when I think of what a monster is, what that means to me, it's not like...anything similar to what other people think of, and like, the way I have a love affair with violence, it's...It's not similar to like...anyone I've ever encountered, lol.

Anyway, the point is, batsquatch...Batsquatch is this monster alleged to live in South Texas, where A-----lives. Batsquatch. And allegedly it is a 9 ft tall "avian humanoid."

A: OMFG

R: And I was talking to A----about it and she said, "This is 9 ft tall, imagine its wingspan..."
And then, "What would his D look like? Would it just flop around in the air when it flew?"

And that was the funniest thought like, ever.

A: lololololololol

R: Like, when I think of monsters, I don't think of them being giant humanoids, or reptilian, but it just puts the retarded monsters of other people's dreams in context.

Like all the popular monsters would have giant dicks flopping around, I think.

Like batsquatch, sasquatch, godzilla, et al. Like why doesn't anyone describe the giant flopping dicks of these creatures in "sightings."

A: Batsquatch big floppin dick pissin on crowds of people.

R: Lol just like raining down piss flying in a circle in the air screaching. Jerking off on ppl.

A: OMG lololol

R: All the monsters people think of are like, Lenny from of mice and men but with wings and/or fur.

A: lololololol

R: When I think of a monster it's like something that defies like logic/comprehension. I can't describe exactly what a monster would be bc it's incomprehensible, but like, I'd know it if I saw it.

A: OMG me too.

R: I'm laughing at this movie, it's like predator vision.

A: OMG I love predator vision.

R: It's not predator vision like camera wise, like POV or whatever, but it's like predator faces. Like a man explaining "S&M" and making predator faces in a suit.

I guess mainstream monsters and bdsm also have the common problem of like dicks flopping in situations where one is meant to feel fear.

A: lolololololol

My roommate just informed me that this man (Tinder photo deleted for predator privacy) is 600 ft away and lookng for sex. Predator vision.

(Tinder photo deleted for predator privacy)

R: I can't stop laughing. That guy is, like, more obviously a murderer than anyone I've ever seen.

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